Promises and Truth
by GhostlyCharm
Summary: My Version of how Aaron goes back to the hospital after Jerry tells him to leave.


Words in _italics_ are Aaron or Jackson talking in memories. The bits in **bold **are song lyrics. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these Characters.

I'm running, running as fast as I can but it seems like I'm not getting anywhere, it doesn't matter how fast I run I'm not going to get there in time, I try to run even faster, my heart's pounding and I can't catch my breath but it's too late Jackson van is breaking through wood and landing on the train tracks, I can hear a train, please just let me get there in time. There we go I'm almost there I'm running down the steep hill and I'm almost at the train tracks, the sound of the train is getting nearer and nearer. Then I see it the train slams in to the van and I can hear Jackson screaming my name, I have to get there but I can't move, please just let me help him.

All of a sudden the train and Jackson's van disappears and I'm opening my eyes, staring at my ceiling. I sit up, it was just a dream. Only it's not because it happened and Jackson is in hospital and no one knows if he's going to die or not. I get out of bed but I have to find something to distract me so I make my bed, walk down the hall and get in the shower. Trying to forget the nightmare. Only I can't wake up from this one.

Get out of the shower, Jackson usually stays in there for half an hour, get to my bedroom, don't look at the side of the bed Jackson sleeps on. _I hate waking up in the morning._ dry myself off, pull on some clothes, You were wearing that shirt the first time Jackson kissed you, pull on my trainers, go downstairs, turn on the radio, put the bread in the toaster, Jackson always has three, press down the switch and click on the kettle.

Pour the milk, don't look at the cup Jackson usually drinks his tea out of, get the butter out of the fridge, open the door get a knife to butter your toast with, Open the cupboard pull out a plate, we used to have one more of these until you'd accidently smashed it when Jackson, don't think about it, shut the cupboard, pour the hot water, stir three times, three not four, four's overkill at least to some people, let the spoon fall in the sink, it always makes that clinging noise when it makes contact, push the button, grab the toast. _Be careful you'll burn yourself. No I won't. Yes you will. _

I butter the toast quickly throwing the knife in the sink, I'm just about to take a bite when the song on the radio changes and my mind isn't fast enough to stop the memory that comes flooding to the surface.

**I'm running out of ways to make you see  
I want you to stay here beside me  
I won't be okay and I won't pretend I am  
So just tell me today and take my hand  
Please take my hand  
Please take my hand**

I drop the toast back to the plate. Of all the songs to come on the radio now. I'd just turned the stereo on then to try and fill the awkward silence before I'd escaped to the kitchen un the pretence of getting a beer, All I'd wanted was to try and calm myself down, I had felt like my heart was pounding a lot faster then it ought to have been.

**Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back  
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind  
Only love**

If Jackson was here he'd probably make a joke or he'd give me that look like he does when he thinks I'm not looking, sometimes he looks at me and it's just for a second but his eyes go all soft and more often then not he smiles. I never say anything, I figure if he wants to look at me he's going to and that conversation could only lead to something embarrassing.

**It's so simple and you know it is  
You know it is, yeah  
We can't be to and fro like this  
All our lives  
You're the only way to me  
The path is clear  
What do I have to say to you  
For Gods sake, dear  
For Gods sake, dear  
For Gods sake, dear  
For Gods sake, dear  
For Gods sake, dear**

I miss him, I want to see him, I want to make sure he's as alright as he can be and I want top know what's going on. I want to be there even if he won't know that I am.

**Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back  
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind  
Only love  
Just say yes, coz I'm aching and I know you are too**

**For the touch of your warm skin  
As I breathe you in**

I'm just being stupid now, I don't even know if he'd want me there, I put him there, If I hadn't of sold that car to Mickey, if I hadn't kicked off at Bar West, If I hadn't of got out of the van. All I have right now are If's and Maybes.

**I can feel your heart beat through my shirt  
This was all I wanted, all I want  
Its all I want  
Its all I want  
Its all I want  
Its all I want**

It's this song, if it hadn't of come on I'd have gone to work and just tried to forget, tried not to think about it. But I can't forget and I can't not think about it. This song, I can't help but think about Jackson with this song.

**Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back  
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind  
Only love**

It had been playing when I'd sat down, when He'd tried to reassure me because I'd been so nervous, I hadn't known what to say, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I knew what I wanted to do but I wasn't sure if I could actually do it. But I had, I'd kissed him because it was what I wanted. _I don't do anything I don't want to_. I'd wanted to kiss him, I'd had to be brave to do it, I'd been second guessing myself from the second I had sat down that day. But I'd done it. **I don't do anything I don't want to.** Do I really want to let Jackson's dad tell me what to do? Do I want to stay away from Jackson? No I don't. I don't do anything I don't want to. And I don't want to stay away from Jackson.

**Just say yes, coz I'm aching and I know you are too  
For the touch of your warm skin  
As I breathe you in **

I grab my coat, walking out and making sure the door is locked behind me. I need to be brave for Jackson again and I'm going to be.

**To Be Continued, Feedback is always Welcome.**


End file.
